Nicely put. I’ll certainly be voting with my wallet and not buying an e-tag. Will you?

brandslut xoxo

I think it’s time to join the twitter conversation:

A simple hash-tag search of #ABSA reveals more tweets than I care to count, mostly negative. ABSA’s slogan promises the future, yet the bank’s actions speak otherwise. Perhaps “Yesterday, Today, Together” would be more apt. Although the word together is also questionable, because doesn’t the concept of togetherness suggest community? So what is the social media community then? Virtual chopped liver, apparently. But you’ve got a facebook page, I hear you say? Well done. Do you know that FNB’s CEO personally tweets for the bank and they’ve recently launched a SmartPhone app? Those guys are actively embracing tomorrow. ABSA, should you be? You’re missing a relationship management and PR trick and allowing the conversation to spiral out of control without you. Not having a twitter presence doesn’t mean the tweets will go away. Click here if you don’t believe me.

brandslut xoxo

At approximatetely 8:06am this morning, on the corner of Grayston and Sandton Drive Johannesburg, a car crashed into the back of me. The reason it went into the back of me is because one of your promo staff stopped a moving car, in peak hour traffic, to hand him a sample. I hit my brakes to avoid the stopped car in front of me, and in the process the gentleman behind me drove into my rear.

I’m livid for 2 reasons:

1. A member of your promotional team caused an accident, damaging my vehicle, which is no doubt going to cost me money

2. I left the message above on your facebook wall, which you promptly deleted and ignored

Nivea, do you think that deleting my comment on facebook is going to make this go away? Erm, social media suicide, much? All I want is an apology, my brake light replaced and a promise. A promise to not employ muppets who ignore basic road rules and cause accidents.

brandslut xoxo

PS I suggest you buy yourselves this, pronto!

Open-source weaponry. Scary.Via.

brandslut xoxo

A simple Google search reveals a host of negative remarks South Africans have made about the abysmal new EASIGAS “when you’re hot you’re hot” TV commercial. Yes, the one that was created in PowerPoint and involves [what looks like] EASIGAS employees and friends and family thereof removing their winter clothing because, you guessed it, they’re hot! EASIGAS, your product may be hot, but your advertising is most certainly not. Why not turn the heap of negative press you’re getting into something positive and beneficial to your brand image and reputation? Admit that your recent TVC is prime-time drivel and appeal to your beloved (and savvy) South African consumer for both forgiveness and assistance. Turn the bad press into a brand opportunity by letting consumers take a stab at creating a better ad. Perhaps you create a web-page (yours is in dire need of a face-lift) or micro-site where these user-generated ads are uploaded, the top 10 voted on and the winner awarded with the production or flighting of his/her ad and a fabulous prize.

Use it, don’t use it, but please EASIGAS, save us all from your bad advertising.

brandslut xoxo

Playboy SA launched last week and above is the inaugural cover. Is it just me, or is this photograph of Tracy McGregor, erm, strange/alien/bizarre/disproportionate? Her waist looks freakishly small in comparison to her gorgeous bum and I think it ruins the shot. I also think the art-direction is a cop-out and completely unoriginal. Enter October 1992 (Playboy USA)…

Thumbs-up or thumbs-down? Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.

brandslut xoxo

The Good

And Another Goodie

The Bad

The Ugly

That’s my take on 2011′s Super Bowl commercials. Here for the expert opinions via USA Today.

brandslut xoxo

Violet Explosion

Those who follow me on Twitter know I have a problem with the badly dressed windows at Queenspark. Once upon a time I used to peruse the rails of the store because the window display invited me in. These days I have to hold the bile down as I’m accosted, regularly, with what I describe as a ‘violet explosion‘. Vom.

Seriously Queenspark, reevaluate your window dressing strategy. Fire someone. Hire someone. Take a leaf from your peers at Woolies, Country Road and Forever New. Get creative, use your space and levels properly, and FFS lose the obsession with violet. I know I’m not your target market, but your audience deserves a little more credit, don’t you think?

brandslut xoxo

I spotted this whilst watching Grey’s Anatomy last night and had to restrain myself from stabbing myself to death with a blunt knife (no scalpel needed) to avoid being subjected to the cheese one second longer. Roman’s Pizza, have we all been Punkd? Now whilst I understand that your unique selling proposition is cheese (insightful) and this forms the cornerstone of all of your advertising, but this most recent addition to your Tower of Cheesa is beyond cuck. Surely it’s possible to be cheesy AND tasteful/intelligent.

WTFrikkadel Roman’s Pizza? I think it’s time to fire your agency or whoever it is that’s making these poor ‘creative’ decisions.

Bad Pizza, Worse Advertising.

brandslut xoxo

I always accept the flyers that are handed out at intersections because a. the poor sod handing them out is just doing a job and b., every now and then you stumble upon an absolute gem. You know you’re in for a treat when the opening sentence is:

“DR. DAVID has been legalised to import the [Mulondo] herbal remedy, which has been naturally pounded and squeezed from the roots of the Mulondo tree, used for thousands of years in Uganda to make men’s penis big and strong permanently.”

Dr. David is also able to cure the following needs/ailments

• Bad smell
• Want to make it tight
• Divorce matters (7 days only)
• Bring back lost lover no matter how long
• Protection against your enemies
• Customer attraction
• Bless your money with luck so as to multiply
  
• Witchcraft removed and seen with your eyes
• Want to know enemies and get rid of them?

And that, my friends, is why I love living in Africa.

If you’d like to reach Dr. David in his swanky new offices in Sandton, nogal, he can be reached on 073 278 0247, 24 hours a day.

brandslut xoxo